Writing Improvisations: Ennui

Been awhile since I’ve written to some music, but thankfully I’m just in the right mindset to write to this depressing song. Pour a drink and dive in. This song is called Ennui and comes from my friend Thomas Rakowitz. Like the other writing improvisations that have come before: I wrote this from start to finish, changing nothing and only fixing punctuation when done.

The song “Ennui” can be found here

Thomas’ soundcloud page can be found here

Ennui

Fuck me I’m tired. Fuck me I’m tired and lonely and filled with scars. Damage done, wounded far, reaching nothing because fuck me I’m tired of this everything.

It’s so cold and snowing out, this dreary day, covered in listless skies and darkest grey. Snow falls from the heavens and burns all hell: killing, anticipating life and happy dwelling thoughts of a better tomorrow. But there is no tomorrow. There is only sorrow. Only sadness, only sadness, only fuck this life for fuck sake am I so fucking tired.

Are you tired too?

I just want to sleep, to dig beneath the earth and find my weeping grave that sheds tears of sand, of “one more chance” of one more dance. But my legs don’t work, and a nap is best, the final sleep, the final test.

Please don’t blame me; please don’t call me selfish. Please don’t scorn me or open the pits to hellish thoughts and emotions that you can never take back. Just leave me be, just leave me to sleep. Just leave me be and the rest will come together in wonderful perfection.

Because fuck I’m so tired. And it’s so cold. And I’m so fucking tired.

 

 

If you like Thomas’ music, please check out his completely self made and self produced and self published EP, Ghosts of Myself found here

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