More writing improvisations, where I take an instrumental song and write to it. My friend Thomas Rakowitz is an amazing musician with the tendency to create long pieces of music. Normally I frown at songs that reach further than six or more minutes, but Thomas has a knack for progression that puts me in the story mindset. In short: I wrote while it played. I started at the beginning and stopped at the end, not thinking ahead but just typing. Editing will be light. I want to fix grammar and typos but preserve everything else the way it came out.
The song is called “Until I Bleed (The Last Straw)” and can be found here.
Thomas’s Youtube page can be found here.
“Until I Bleed”
I feel it splinter I feel it crack I feel it winter I feel it snap. You test me you test me god damn but you test me, and now I feel it come down to nothing.
I’m waiting and I’m waiting, and I see you about to deliver the something no one wants yet you feel compelled to give.
And now I’m bleeding because you are a fucking bitch; and now I’m bleeding and bleeding and this is all your fucking fault. I’ve waited for far too long to wait it out but now I’m bleeding and you don’t care at all.
I hate you truly I hate you well, I hate you every day; cant you tell? It’s great and divine and I’m stuck in winter, but that’s okay because I’m bleeding and that’s just a simple sign that I’m right.
It sludges and seeps out through my pours like a drunken waterfall made of sores. I watch the red turn into black and thick with oil from some hatefelt lack of thought of love or anything nice. It oozes and runs now down my person, a flowing river that turns into an ocean. It pools and pools and my feat are wet from the blood I shed you worthless bitch.
It sludges and seeps and continues to drown the floor is all red but there are no lights or sounds. You stand before me and watch with envy and might as I bleed and bleed from this broken windless right. Are you afraid? No. Neither am I.
My calves are wet from the blood I have spilled, and still it rises up into the nether of this world. It covers you as well and neither of us can move while you talk and complain and I bleed onto the runway of leaving.
The night darkens into nothing but the blood gives off light that glows a sodden brown with a faint red bright. It smells pungent a metallic wonder, and it flows and it flows until we are both under.
I blink eyes which see nothing but ruby, and now I can’t hear you anymore. I’ve bled to death but there is solace in silence as I smile in pure bliss.
The blood keeps falling from nowhere now, it covers the everything and adds to the soundless sound. I can hear the ripples above quietly preaching a thing I don’t understand yet want to keep listening to. It’s perfect.
I swim away from the me that is you.